Live stream
On January 28th 1986 at 11:38AM
I sat on the floor with my brother
and watched a live stream.
Space Shuttle Challenger lifted from the earth
a white plume in a blue sky for 73 seconds
then Space Shuttle Challenger exploded.
I didn’t understand the nuances
but I knew tragedy from my mother’s caught breath
the way the TV screen narrowed to black.
-----
On September 11th 2001 at 8:03AM
I stood at my desk wearing a sweater from my mother
and watched a live stream
United Airlines flight 175
a slick grey body in a thin blue sky
crashed into the South Tower
I didn’t understand the nuances
but the body catches horror almost instantly
I knew tragedy from the flickering hollow behind my ribs.
----
When I tell you that Netflix was a relief to me
what I mean is on September 11th 2001
I stop watching live TV.
Not news anchors on air, not football not baseball
My Saturday Nights were recorded.
I was afraid of witnessing tragedy in real time
I was not torn between turning away and turning toward
I wrapped the privilege of waiting around my shoulders like a
noose gone slack. I was 18 years old.
---
On April 23rd 1948 my daughter’s father’s family lived in Haifa.
They did not watch a live stream they watched
as soldiers, live, streamed into the city.
Haifa a city of 70,000.
Haifa reduced to a city of 4,000.
I don’t understand the nuances.
I’m not sure there are nuances to understand.
--
On October 10th 1978 my daughter’s grandfather left Haifa for America.
He was 19 years old.
He knew he would never be allowed to return home
It is now 2025. He has never returned home.
His mother still lives in Haifa.
I do not think there are nuances.
-
On October 8th 2023
I sit on the couch with my daughter
and we watch a live stream.
Every letter on my bones wants to turn away.
Every stutter of my heart requires that I witness.
My daughter is 18 years old.
Fear wraps tight like a noose around my throat.
I look for nuances and find nothing
while Palestine fades to black
Image by cocoandwifi
Jordan Wyberneit
Jordan is low-key feral, gently heathen, & wildly autistic. They’re more likely to fall in love with a hummingbird than remember the name of their favorite actor. She loves bread, cheese, and tomatoes, not in that order. Jordan’s work centers on systems of life, hybrid identities, and the complications that inform modern human experiences. They hold an MFA in Poetry from Regis University and MS in Data Analytics from Colorado State University. She values justice, mercy, humility, kindness, and grace.